My Ex Hates Me: Why Is That?

When you break up with someone, you start to feel many things. For many, this makes them feel like their ex hates them. For this reason we decided to give you some tips to help you deal with this situation.  

It doesn’t matter who ended the relationship, if there are still things that bind you (e.g. children). Because of this, it is important that you make an effort to get along with your ex. However, that doesn’t always seem to be possible and you might ask yourself the following question: ” My ex hates me : why is that?”

In the following we will try to answer this question.

My ex hates me: why is that?

There are several ways to deal with a breakup.

Unfortunately, not all of these are positive and therefore can cause many problems. If you think your ex hates or despises you, you might be right about that. However, it is important to know why the ex is behaving the way they do.

Contempt can mask other emotions or feelings that are obviously channeled in this way. This is how the ex-partners avoid being confronted with their emotions.

Here are some of the main reasons your ex may hate you or treat you badly:

1. My ex hates me: Because they suffer

We don’t justify the exes’ actions, we just try to understand why they are doing this. For example, if you’re the one who ended the relationship, your ex may be very hurt and he or she hates you for that reason.

However, this attitude obviously doesn’t solve anything, it only makes things worse. However, sometimes people do this to relieve their pain.

As with a wounded animal that goes on the defensive when someone tries to help, the same goes for your ex. He tries to hide his suffering with hatred.

2. My ex hates me: Because his pride has been hurt

Men don’t like being dumped because it affects their manhood. It’s a biological and evolutionary (but also a cultural) problem. He’s probably not acting on purpose either.

Your ex may also treat you badly to protect their pride and self-esteem … and they don’t want to show you how they really feel!

Aside from treating you with contempt, he can also hold you responsible for the failure of the relationship. As a result, he will not accept that both were responsible. In this way he avoids feeling “less like a man”.

3. Everything is still very fresh

You just left your ex or ended the relationship.

It is therefore only understandable that he treats you badly! He feels very emotional and even confused or depressed. 

Also, keep in mind that his pride will not allow him to try to win you back, even if he wants you back. On the contrary, he usually chooses to punish you with contempt instead.

My ex hates me: how can I stop this?

The first step is to identify the reasons behind it and understand why it is acting this way. He probably doesn’t do it on purpose, and may even regret it if he thinks things through.

However, you obviously don’t have to put up with it either. Below are some tips on how to do this.

1. Ignore your ex

The best you can do in this case is to act like nothing is happening. After a sharp answer, simply react with a smile or look away.

Don’t pretend his behavior offends you in any way. Don’t respond to attacks, offensive, or negative comments. He ‘ll eventually get tired of talking like that and will eventually give up pissing you off.

2. Show him that you are above his behavior

It’s important that your ex doesn’t know his comments are hit you. You should therefore show him that you are more emotionally mature and that he needs to get over the breakup as soon as possible.

3. Try to make “peace”

If you and your ex have children and see each other often, it’s often a good way to talk to him or her in private and get the ex-partner to stop mistreating you.

Tell him not to act like this and ask why he hates you. Then try to find the best solution to make everything appear normal. At least in front of the children.

That doesn’t mean you will get back together. However, at least when your children are young, you can have a tolerable relationship with your ex. Because if you have children together, you have no choice but to see each other from time to time.

4. Don’t move too

Accept the situation, let the time pass, and pay less attention to your ex’s attitude towards you. A scorned person can say very hurtful things, but how you let those words affect you is up to you.

Focus on something else, don’t think about it all the time, and go into the things that are really important.

If you keep thinking “my ex hates me” and let that affect you, your ex will get exactly what he wants. Don’t give him or her the pleasure!

At some point you will find that the ex is the person who has a problem. Don’t feel guilty Your ex needs to get over the breakup and move on.

5. Don’t let him taste his own medicine

If your ex has a bad attitude or makes a terrible comment, don’t make the mistake of replying in the same way. “Do not add fuel to the fire,” they say in the vernacular. Confronting your ex is useless as it will end up hurting you yourself.

Your answers can add fuel to the fire and cause an even bigger fire. So be careful. Don’t play into his hand, be the emotionally bigger person.